Bread and Circuses

Give the people want they want and they'll ignore the obvious. As Obama took office, I find it interesting that the first unicycle football game of the season is in place.

This is an amazing game played on an abandoned parking lot, with injuries almost guaranteed.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Unicycle Football!



Many more pics available at www.flickr.com/joshmas

John Wayne Dressed to the Left

It was a confusing journey as the Airport is known as Orange County, Santa Ana and most importantly John Wayne. It was after spending an inordinate amount of time at the Hertz counter with a needy D&D player in his early 30's that must have just had his mother throw him out of the house that I spotted the magnificent statue of John Wayne (insert Repo Man reference here). There was a huge American flag drapped behind the Duke, and as I grabbed my camera to take the iconic shot I quickly realized the inevitable-John Wayne dressed to the left.

I was stuck for a week in Anaheim which ac best be described as the lesser Disney surrounded by miles of strip malls. The regurgitation of the american dream in all of it's lackluster glory.

There were a number of outstanding outfits on display, and I got to meet Lemmy from Motorhead, who it turns out is a genuinely nice down to earth guy.

We were stuck for 4 days across from the Vestax deejay booth where we had to endure nonstop wicka-wicka-shunk, this has to be worse than anything doled out in Gitmo. The people watching however was absolutely stellar.

Hair gel-Check
Sleeveless shirt-Check
Elven Leather Utility Belt-Check
White Linen Bell Bottom Capris-Check
Toe Shoes-Check
Orange to ward off scurvy-Check
Okay, ready to roll.

The highlight was discovering Thainakorn restaurant which was one of the best Thai places I have been to in the last few years. It was very authentic, always busy and clientele was about 90% Thai. This was about the hottest food that I've ever enjoyed. I have certainly had hotter, but not with such balanced flavor. Perhaps second only to Lotus of Siam in Las Vegas. Fish Cakes, Satay and Beef with Green Chilis are all highly recommended.

Waiting for Hoffman-Damn the Citations

So it was back to Smitty's with the Floreanis and Hoffman. Very appropriate, as Smitty's is in Lockhart and is the town that Waiting for Guffman was filmed. I was specifically honored to drive one of the matriarchs of the Floreani Clan, the lovely Mrs. Floreani. It's an amazing little town with a gorgeous courthouse, a clock museum, and 2 stunning barbecue joints.

There was an amazing sighting, the likes of which I had not encountered at a barbecue joint or anywhere else for that matter, and that was a future Blue Man.

The place was a hell of alot busier than anticipated, but we somehow managed to muddle through. The only dissapointment was that they were out of the Prime Rib that we were able to check out before the trek to El Regio a week or so back.
We went with sausage, brisket and end-cut porkchops with some slightly under-ripe avacados. It was like a frenzied scene of orgiastic debauchery straight out of Quest for Fire, followed by some bizarre ice cream social which sequed into a diatribe on proper, appropriate and acceptable manners of citation. Mercifully Mike forced himself asleep.

At any rate I was glad that in preparation for the sortie that I forced myself into a grueling 2 hour fast. I may need more in order to make it through Coopers in Llano tomorrow.

El Regio Pollo Magnifico, Next time Siberia

When a vegetarian suggests a meat restaurant, pay very close attention. Don't be thrown when they tell you it's in a Shell Station, as the rewards can be great.

This wonderful place in San Marcos serves up some of the best chicken that I have ever had, and is mopped down with a rub that includes an endorphin releasing substance that must either be illegal or simply unknown to the FDA.

Not only is the chicken otherworldly, but they also have a condiment that is simply called 'Green Sauce' that is some combination of jalapenos, sour cream and who knows what else that perfectly compliments the bird.

Okonomiyaki where can I find you

So the food in Japan was amazing as you would expect. The Sushi was amazing and I had my share. The best sushi I had in my life was at a little stall with maybe 10 seats at a counter that was in the sets of shops by the Tsukiji (pronounced ski-gee) Tokyo Fish Market. All of them had lines outside, and it doesn't get any fresher, literally hours off of the boat. They also had the best Miso Soup that I've ever had.

There were a number of foods that I have never had before that were absolutely mind-blowing, and that I have not come across here in the States. There were a number of restaurants that specialize in a single dish and have no menu at all. There was a wonderful place in Kyoto that did a chicken and egg mild curry with a bit of rice, and another in Hamamatsu that only sold BBQ Eel.

Although I had Sukiyaki, some amazing Sushi and all manner of Street Foods, my favorite experience and the one that I crave the most is Okonomiyaki. It was a rainy, drizzly, windy day, and we were walking through Kyoto's Nishiki Market marveling at all sorts of dried fish and produce when we came across Mr. Young Mens. I'll have to say that this could be the perfect comfort food on a cold wet day. I have heard it called Japanese Pizza; this doesn't begin to describe it, nor does it do it justice.

Shall We Riding?

My recent trip to Japan showed me that although we may have put a man on the moon, they were by far the most advanced civilization.

They have done away with the need to dominate a 1 ton animal with the brain the size of a walnut when they need to exercise. This is clearly a superior approach.

Once you are done exercising and need to replenish your valuable electrolytes, you don't simply reach for water or gatorade, no-no-no. You grab a bottle of cool refreshing....

But there is so much more to the technological marvels of Japan. They have perfected the art and machinery of defication. They have a remote that is on the borderline of being as advanced as my Dish Satelite remote control.

The seat is already pre-warmed so as not to be a shock. This allows one to properly relax into the poo, or to be the poo as Bill Murray might say. Once the process begins and a turd hits the water it's 'soft-flushed' back into the plumbing. Each time another turd drops this processed is repeated making the procedure nearly odorless. When you are finished you hit the proper controls that apply temperature and pressure controlled water to clean things wonderfully. There is then a reassuring jet of air that dries you off. When you stand, the seat senses that weight has been removed and does a full flush, sprays a small amount of pleasant smelling deoderizer, and then shuts the lid.

If there's better BBQ in Texas, I haven't found it

We decided that it was time to visit what is deemed by Texas Monthly Magazine as the best BBQ in the state. I'm usually quite dubious about such honors and awards. There is some absolutely amazing barbecue in the Texas Hill Country and surrounds and that is one hell of a bold statement.

We agreed to depart from Mike's at 7:30AM for the drive to Snow's. They are only open on Saturdays, open at 8, and close when they run out, which is apparently always before noon. We headed off on a scenic route that took us out of Wimberley and past more single wides that I've ever seen in a stretch. We rolled into Lexington, TX at about 9:20, and there was a line out the door.
As we made our way up through the line, we kept hearing reports of what they were out of, first ribs, and then pork butt. This torture was exacerbated by Saul who was right in front of us, and seemed completely unfamiliar with commerce on every level. He also had acute spatial and social issues, not to mention the joy he seemed to take in trying to order the last of everything.


When Edmond and I finally made it to the front of the line we were relieved to find that they still had brisket, sausage and chicken. We made our way out to a picnic table adjacent to their pits, and were quickly transported to gastronomic bliss. Simply put, consensus of all four put these three items at the top of what we had experienced, and overall Snow's had admirably earned the distinction of being the best in Texas. The only single item that rivaled and perhaps bettered anything that we had at Snow's was the beef rib at Cooper's in Llano.

Lessons learned:
1. Texas monthly is reputable and accurate at least in matters of BBQ.

2. If you want any selection at all, get to Snow's shortly after 8AM when they open