Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Shall We Riding?

My recent trip to Japan showed me that although we may have put a man on the moon, they were by far the most advanced civilization.

They have done away with the need to dominate a 1 ton animal with the brain the size of a walnut when they need to exercise. This is clearly a superior approach.

Once you are done exercising and need to replenish your valuable electrolytes, you don't simply reach for water or gatorade, no-no-no. You grab a bottle of cool refreshing....

But there is so much more to the technological marvels of Japan. They have perfected the art and machinery of defication. They have a remote that is on the borderline of being as advanced as my Dish Satelite remote control.

The seat is already pre-warmed so as not to be a shock. This allows one to properly relax into the poo, or to be the poo as Bill Murray might say. Once the process begins and a turd hits the water it's 'soft-flushed' back into the plumbing. Each time another turd drops this processed is repeated making the procedure nearly odorless. When you are finished you hit the proper controls that apply temperature and pressure controlled water to clean things wonderfully. There is then a reassuring jet of air that dries you off. When you stand, the seat senses that weight has been removed and does a full flush, sprays a small amount of pleasant smelling deoderizer, and then shuts the lid.

What I'm Reading


What I'm listening to lately

  • Ben Kweller-Changing Horses
  • Trojan Country Reggae Box Set
  • The Grand Archives
  • Sun is Shining- Bob Marley vs Lee Scratch Perry
  • A.C. Newman-Get Guilty
  • Justin Townes Earle-The Good Life
  • Bon Iver-Blood Bank
  • Breathe Owl Breathe-Ghost Glacier
  • Noah and the Whale
  • Conor Oberst
  • Frightened Rabbit-The Midnight Organ Fight

Smitty's Barbecue

Smitty's Barbecue