Waiting for Hoffman-Damn the Citations

So it was back to Smitty's with the Floreanis and Hoffman. Very appropriate, as Smitty's is in Lockhart and is the town that Waiting for Guffman was filmed. I was specifically honored to drive one of the matriarchs of the Floreani Clan, the lovely Mrs. Floreani. It's an amazing little town with a gorgeous courthouse, a clock museum, and 2 stunning barbecue joints.

There was an amazing sighting, the likes of which I had not encountered at a barbecue joint or anywhere else for that matter, and that was a future Blue Man.

The place was a hell of alot busier than anticipated, but we somehow managed to muddle through. The only dissapointment was that they were out of the Prime Rib that we were able to check out before the trek to El Regio a week or so back.
We went with sausage, brisket and end-cut porkchops with some slightly under-ripe avacados. It was like a frenzied scene of orgiastic debauchery straight out of Quest for Fire, followed by some bizarre ice cream social which sequed into a diatribe on proper, appropriate and acceptable manners of citation. Mercifully Mike forced himself asleep.

At any rate I was glad that in preparation for the sortie that I forced myself into a grueling 2 hour fast. I may need more in order to make it through Coopers in Llano tomorrow.

El Regio Pollo Magnifico, Next time Siberia

When a vegetarian suggests a meat restaurant, pay very close attention. Don't be thrown when they tell you it's in a Shell Station, as the rewards can be great.

This wonderful place in San Marcos serves up some of the best chicken that I have ever had, and is mopped down with a rub that includes an endorphin releasing substance that must either be illegal or simply unknown to the FDA.

Not only is the chicken otherworldly, but they also have a condiment that is simply called 'Green Sauce' that is some combination of jalapenos, sour cream and who knows what else that perfectly compliments the bird.

Okonomiyaki where can I find you

So the food in Japan was amazing as you would expect. The Sushi was amazing and I had my share. The best sushi I had in my life was at a little stall with maybe 10 seats at a counter that was in the sets of shops by the Tsukiji (pronounced ski-gee) Tokyo Fish Market. All of them had lines outside, and it doesn't get any fresher, literally hours off of the boat. They also had the best Miso Soup that I've ever had.

There were a number of foods that I have never had before that were absolutely mind-blowing, and that I have not come across here in the States. There were a number of restaurants that specialize in a single dish and have no menu at all. There was a wonderful place in Kyoto that did a chicken and egg mild curry with a bit of rice, and another in Hamamatsu that only sold BBQ Eel.

Although I had Sukiyaki, some amazing Sushi and all manner of Street Foods, my favorite experience and the one that I crave the most is Okonomiyaki. It was a rainy, drizzly, windy day, and we were walking through Kyoto's Nishiki Market marveling at all sorts of dried fish and produce when we came across Mr. Young Mens. I'll have to say that this could be the perfect comfort food on a cold wet day. I have heard it called Japanese Pizza; this doesn't begin to describe it, nor does it do it justice.

Shall We Riding?

My recent trip to Japan showed me that although we may have put a man on the moon, they were by far the most advanced civilization.

They have done away with the need to dominate a 1 ton animal with the brain the size of a walnut when they need to exercise. This is clearly a superior approach.

Once you are done exercising and need to replenish your valuable electrolytes, you don't simply reach for water or gatorade, no-no-no. You grab a bottle of cool refreshing....

But there is so much more to the technological marvels of Japan. They have perfected the art and machinery of defication. They have a remote that is on the borderline of being as advanced as my Dish Satelite remote control.

The seat is already pre-warmed so as not to be a shock. This allows one to properly relax into the poo, or to be the poo as Bill Murray might say. Once the process begins and a turd hits the water it's 'soft-flushed' back into the plumbing. Each time another turd drops this processed is repeated making the procedure nearly odorless. When you are finished you hit the proper controls that apply temperature and pressure controlled water to clean things wonderfully. There is then a reassuring jet of air that dries you off. When you stand, the seat senses that weight has been removed and does a full flush, sprays a small amount of pleasant smelling deoderizer, and then shuts the lid.