A gastronomic return to the land of my people

We packed up and headed back to Cincinnati for a few days of indulgence in the culinary offerings of the Queen City as it was known in my youth, Porkopolis 80 years before then, and currently the Natti. Either way, the visit was punctuated by visits to cultural landmarks and museums as well as restaurants and familial haunts.

One of the first food items that we need upon our return is Camp Washington Chili. It is one of the most amazing places on earth with a varied menagerie from all social classes. Phenomenal spot for people watching, as well as the best iteration of Cincy Chili that I have encountered. most go for Skyline Chili, however this pales in comparison. In addition to 3-5 ways (chili, spaghetti, onions, cheese, beans), they have what is referred by father as the best turkey club ever.

After a bit of back and forth Cait wrangled together the order consisting of 15 cheese coneys with mustard and onions, 2 coneys with cheese, 2 three-ways, 3 turkey clubs and 2 orders of chili cheese fries. After being placed on hold repeatedly, and then having them refuse to read back the order to confirm, Cait was dubious about how close to what was intended would actually be delivered. Once my dad and I got there however, and I saw that the woman behind the counter had a 3" script tattoo that read 'KEITH' in old english script on her neck, I knew all would be well. I mean hell, I'm sure that Keith learned her proper, and as expected the order was spot on. The coneys surpassed all expectation and recollections. This will always be my first stop upon my return.

My father has become a true conisseur of the greasy spoon, and when the conversation turned to cheeseburgers he knew just the spot. A nondescript joint just the other side of the river in Covington Kentucky that has been around since 1939. It was up the hill, and away from the business district. It was an amazing example of simple food done great. Chip manned the small flatiron grill, and about 10 minutes after arrival we were treated to a simple feast of burgers, Hussman potato chips, and a coke each. 3 of us got out of there for $14, almost unheard of in this day and age, and one of the more memorable meals of the trip.

Pizza was a mixed bag, 2 of my favorites Pommodori's which specializes in wood fired pizzas, and Adriaticos that had done a thick crust garlic infused gem. Well, Pommodori's despite the sign reading 'Cincinnati's Best Pizza' had slipped considerably. There was none of the blistering of the crust that wood fired pizzas are known for, and I was told that Adriaticos had slipped so far that it was not worth pursuing, and that I was better off with my memories unspoiled on this front. The upside came from Dewey's, a relative newcomer, but certainly a welcome addition to the regimen.

One of my earliest childhood memories is of shopping at Findlay Market. It has certainly had it's share of ups and downs over the last few decades, and has made an amazing recovery. There are tons of organic farmers with stalls, as well as surrounding shops carrying Asian spices, African wares, meats and cheeses. It draws all races and income stratas and they not only get along, they actually interact with each other. Hell even the old black blues musician played a Loggins and Messina song in his set. Certainly something for everyone.

The other childhood food shopping experience that I was able to faithfully relive was Avril's meat market in the heart of downtown. A Cincinnati institution since 1894, serving up some of the most amazing German Sausages that I have ever had. My grandfather used to stop by there every Friday to pick up the fixins for the Sunday cookout. Although the bratwurst are stunning, it's the hot mets or metwurst that I always enjoyed, preferably on their salt rye with the homemade horseradish cheddar and brown mustard.

We made it to the old art deco Union Terminal train station that has been successfully transformed into the Cincinnati Museum Center which houses 3 museums, a reference library, the historical society, and an imax theater. Oh yeah, it's still an Amtrak station as well. There are a series of mosaic murals that are absolutely stunning, and for some time it was the world's largest free standing half-dome.

Next on tap was a field trip to Pyramid Hill sculpture garden, about 20 minutes outside of Cincinnati. A truly amazing collection that should be on anyones list of must sees if visiting the area.

The only joy of a 2.5 hour layover in Chicago

The failed triathlete and the success of the construction worker

There's always a silver lining it seems, even in the most adverse of circumstances it's surprising how quickly things can turn around, and this day was no exception. Somehow we again managed to grab defeat from the jaws of victory.

I have lived in Cincinnati, Chicago, Los Angeles and Nashville, but never have I witnessed what I saw in San Antonio. While traversing across town in search of our location we witnessed the typical cat call from a construction worker to an attractive woman walking down the street. Something that I have seen dozens of times over the years. Until that day I have only seen 2 outcomes:
1 Damsel issues an FU, and keeps walking.

2 Damsel shakes head slightly in disgust and quickens pace as she saunters on.

But not this time! She stops, makes a quarter turn, ponders her options and approaches the gentleman. She cocks her head to the side and rests her hands on her hips. Next thing I know he is entering her phone number in his cel. WTF, if chivalry isn't dead, there is definitely now a more effective alternative.

The plan was to start at Van's Vietnamese, then hit Taco Taco for tacos and the Liberty Bar on the way out of town for dessert. All started off well enough, and the food at Van's was absolutely exceptional! We started with the beef kabob with peanut sauce, some sushi rolls and hot and sour soup with shrimp. The latter bore little resemblance to the Chinese counterpart that you may be familiar with. It was amazing with just the right amount of lemongrass, spices and broth.

We then moved on to Bo Luc Lac or Shaky Beef, and and order of Basil Chicken and Shrimp. The Bo Luc Lac was exceptional, and the Basil dish was solid. I think that if we had it to do over again that I would be more than happy with the soup.

Is that a brat on your grill, or are you just a masochist?

Sheboygan's finest sausage product. Marinated for a day in onions and beer, then grilled to perfection. Nothing says summer quite like it.

Little Thailand-Good, German Mineral Water-Bad

I have often described my life in the beautiful Texas Hill Country as being somewhere between Mayberry and Twin Peaks. Our recent foray to Little Thailand just past the Austin Airport proved to be the perfect example of this premise.

To say that Little Thailand is in an unassuming building would be the understatement of the new age. It seems to be in what is locally called modular architecture. The place is not only filled with the best Thai food that I have experienced in Texas, but also a set of services that I have never heard of being tied so closely to the food service industry. Through the 'Good Sense Ministry' they offer notary services, living wills, and have an ordained minister on premises capable and willing to perform either a marriage, or renewal of vows.
The bathroom facilities although spartan on first glance turned out to be appointed with all the necessities and luxuries that could ever be wished for:
Crossword Puzzle with Pen
Vintage Nokia 1000 Phone Manual
Toiletry kit with plastic bag liberated from local hospital

The food was exceptional. We started the festivities off with Thai Bloody Marys (insert reference to Garfield water) and Thai Iced coffees. Then the spring rolls showed up, followed quickly by one of the highlights of the meal; the stuffed chicken wings. We then moved on to the mains, which consisted of the Warm Thai Beef Salad, Chicken Pot Thai (their version of Pad Thai), Minced Beef with Thai Holy Basil and chili peppers, Lemongrass Soup with Shrimp, and 'The Squid Dish'. We followed this all up with their signature Fried Banana dipped in Honey.
We thought that it was an all but perfect meal. Good friends, a couple drinks, stellar food, and suddenly things took a turn for the worse. I thought that I had just discovered one of the easiest ways ever to earn a five-spot. All I needed to do was drink a liter of mineral water on the drive back to Wimberley. Little did I know that Mike was a chemistry savant and had calculated that if the carbonated water hit the remnants of the breading on the fried bananas it would expand quickly and render me a throbbing fleshbag of gas, pain and vitriol.

Lockhart Trifecta

I have been a gastronomic opportunist and omnivore most of my life, however this week things were elevated significantly on a lunchtime run to Lockhart where we pulled off one of the greatest feats of culinary gluttony ever.

We pulled into Smitty's where Mike pointed out the open fire on the floor, and the creosote that hung from the ceiling in a primordial nod to the ceremony that was about to go down. I'm fairly certain that OSHA has never been anywhere near the place.

First up were the end-cut smoked pork chops and sausage. This adequately set the stage for the meat melee that was to transpire. They were without question the best pork chops that I have ever had in my life.
Next up was Black's which was just around the corner......we drove. This is apparently the oldest family owned barbecue joint in Texas. We opted for the brisket and sausage. This was also staggeringly good. We had to keep reminding ourselves that this was a marathon and not a sprint. The Brisket melted in your mouth and had the best crust of any cut of meat that I have ever had.Lesser men probably would have stopped here; wiser men definitely would have. But we had inertia and mass in our favor at this point and went on to Kreuz for the treat of smoked prime rib and sausage. This was the newest of the establishment and although the food was authentic and amazing it lacked the patina and character of the other two. They also seemed to have a serious aversion to 'roller skating of any kind'. We opted for the smoked prime rib, which was sublime as it danced upon our taste buds. The sausage I have absolutely no recollection of, as I began to drift if not in and out of consciousness at least coherence. It was at this point that we decided to head back to Smitty's for a scoop of Blue Bell butter pecan ice cream as our final coup in Lockhart before heading back to Wimberley.

Opening Gambit

So I figured that it was time to unleash a diatribe of thoughtful and meaningless drivel onto the world to help capture my sporadic and sometimes incoherent ramblings.

So check back often, and I'll try to keep this updated regularly.